Developing Good Judgment

One of life's more difficult tasks is figuring out what you actually like--as opposed to what you have been told you should like. This is understandable and perhaps to be expected with adolescents. But it is surprising how much misery is caused by grown ups earnestly trying to like something they don't care for. Once you figure out what you like, the next challenge is to avoid letting others you are wrong, and that you should really like what they like. At the same time, one needs to avoid becoming a completely close minded block-head. At a friend's father's funeral a few years ago, one of the son's was the eulogist and recalled his father's advice as follows. "You have to have enough confidence in your own judgments that you do not lways just go along with the crowd; at the same time you cannot be so focussed on your position that you cannot take good advice from others." The successful balancing of these two sometimes conflicting forces is the essential prerequisite to developing good judgment.